nerves

yesterday we attended meet-the-teacher and met mrs. crump, vincent's kindergarten teacher as of monday. how edward gorey-esque is that name? wow. she is older, and eyed my tattooed arms fairly obviously. however, the two PTA moms that i was chatting with as i sat at the PTA table and joined up, (yes, you read that right, i am officially a PTA mom) said that they had both had her for their kids and really liked her, so i will chill out and be open-minded about it, and her.
mrs. crump
vincent had a little melt-down when he first got into his room, including running away down the hallway at full speed (thankfully josh was there to give chase) and a little bit of rolling around on the floor refusing to speak to mrs. crump. he did settle down and write his name on the little construction paper t-shirt for the hallway display outside the room. she also overheard him reading and talked to josh about the reading evaluation that they do, and assured him that their curriculum includes an advanced section, to make sure he is learning at the level that will keep him engaged. i hope so.
so monday is the big day, my baby, my one and only, will start spending from 8 am until 3 pm, five days a week, in the care of a woman other than myself. away from me. i am so emotional about this, i was up having a crying fit at about 2 am last night, worrying about what will happen if he gets hungry when it isn't time to eat. worried that mrs. crump won't get to see the funny, smart, kind, curious little boy that he is because when he is anxious he can be willful, defiant and silent. he growls when he is frustrated, which i think is adorable. will she think it is?
so there is a "boo hoo breakfast" on monday for parents dropping their kids off for the first time...guess who will be there?
i know a thousand million other people have gone through this. i know that. as my friend rand said to me, "you and (my wife), the first mothers on earth..."
well, it is the first time for me. and the last, which no doubt fuels the intensity of my feelings about "firsts" and "lasts".
so, i am cooking, which is what i do when i am nervous.  for my mama, whose gut seems to be messed up and causing her pain. so, i made her kitcharee to eat for a few days, and i also made up a batch of these, which i have never made before, but they really smell good, and they have a good rise, so i am assuming they aren't the texture of hockey pucks. if they aren't bad, i will make them again for josh and me, even though there are 683 ingredients in them.
now, vincent has just answered the phone and come out to inform me that he needs to pack a suitcase to stay over at his nonna and papa's tonight, and i have grated carrots and a huge bowl, among other things, to clean up in the kitchen. so i better go.